“Miley Cyrus VMA routine a sophisticated metaphor for the Syrian conflict,” say experts

Thousands of unemployed daytime television viewers have been left stunned after experts have suggested Miley Cyrus’ controversial twerking routine at the VMAs was, in fact, a sophisticated and well-executed metaphor for the on-going Syrian conflict.

The former Disney-employed schizophreniac angered both audiences and immortal all-in-one entertainment-machine Will Smith at the VMAs by performing a series of highly provocative dance moves, mostly against a troupe of over-sized Teddy Bears. Ruth Rogers, an International Relations analyst defended the singer’s actions in light of the criticism aimed towards her: “Miley is an intelligent and highly astute young woman who has always taken an interest in foreign affairs, particularly pressing international matters in the Middle East – including the struggle in Iraq and the the turmoil in Egypt.”

Meanwhile, local behavioral psychologist Dr Steven Stevenson took time from his morning pint of Russian Standard to explain the complex theory: “The revealing nature of Miley’s flesh-coloured costume speaks volumes of how the civilian population can at times feel unclothed – naked – in the midst of rising international tensions. The foam hand? Pointing towards the burgeoning prospect of US intervention, embodied by the screaming crowd.” He added: “By shaking her Assad here, there and everywhere, Ms Cyrus clearly says ‘we will rock the government’s foundations.’ This was especially clear when she twerked against Thicke who, standing still, undertook the role of the brittle, and oppressive Assad-led regime.”

To shed some light on these suggestions, QMessenger spoke to Ms Cyrus’ co-performer Robin Thicke, who surprised fans by stepping onto stage disguised as an inebriated Fight Night referee. The mysoginist previously caused a stir by suggesting the music video to hit single “Blurred Lines” was a metaphor for female empowerment. In response to our queries, Mr Thicke replied: “I know you want it – heyheyhey,” before gyrating incessantly at a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Miley Cyrus mid-twerk. Our in-house expert has since suggested the behaviour “was an attempt to reinforce the initial message to the world’s media, and was in no way the markings of a sex-crazed lunatic.” Miley Cyrus has yet to respond to the claims in a manner deemed suitable for repetition.

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